The Future...
'Future' is such an overwhelming concern of us - the AI 0506 members. (Disclaimer - I love to generalize. So take it 70% seriously.) We just had our supervisory group meeting over Thur and Friday. Most of us asked buckets of questions regarding how to move on. Our SGs are the loveliest people in the world as usual. They always inspire us and get us to think even more. The most powerful talk was Ante's 'heading for the future' talk with our team after the SG meeting - he categorized us into 'goal/vision/mission driven' or 'process driven'. He also shared his own story in the past 10 years since he left AI in 97. And I loved his quote from what Andrew Fiddaman and Chris Bones told him when he was leaving AI - forget about your 'saving the world' mentality for now.
A few reflections:
AI members moving on faces a lot of pressure from AIESEC. If I'm telling a member in the network that I'll take an internship in marketing, it's going to be so uninspiring that this member will be disappointed immediately. Come'on, we want to see a better world. We also have what we love to do!!!
We contemplate our decisions too much. We know what we want to do. We are concerned if it sounds inspiring enough. We are concerned if this is the right 1st step to make. We are concerned why every other person want to stay in Europe, want to work in development issues, etc. What the hell? If we were ever so risk-taking and loving to explore in AIESEC, why we wouldn't take life with the same attitude? Why we are so scared to make the 1st move to see what we enjoy, what fit us, even though it turns out the opposite way?! I guess I am too premature to take a long while to decide, I'll jump into the water to know if it is the right thing for me or not.
Release myself from 'saving the world' stress - I have always been such a Chinese who wants to contribute to the fastest growing economy of 1.6 billion people. I feel obliged soly because I am a young, open-minded and ambitious Chinese. Is this REALLY what I want to do right now?! Does this mean I should jump into CSR departments of companies right now? Like the corps need to become a spy to catch the criminals, do I need to learn the core business first to work on sustainability?
Apparently, I need this weekend to digest even more. I just loved all the confronting conversations I have had. When I say confronting, it is confronting my doubts, my thoughts and my honest feelings!!! Next week, I am meeting another 2 experienced AIESEC alumni to understand more about the sustainability business. And back home, I am waiting to confirm 2 very exciting and challenging CSR involvement with Burberry and Capgemni. More stories to tell later...
Being sentimental for a change! ;-)
I out of sudden decided to blog in the middle of my data crunching fun - SOGA! ;-) Aron said my weblog is really outdated. Not that his is so much up-to-date - excuse me, you can see his postings of 2005 on the front page! However, I tried to ask myself: what does it mean by blogging less? I not only blog less recently, I haven't journalled much either. Am I becoming a dry individual who doesn't have much inspiration left? Thank god that I keep quite frequent touches through email with some close friends.
I have just spent a weekend in Prague (July 1 and 2) and another one in Stockholm (July 6-9) and come back to the office. The new team was still away for their planning week. Our team talked about AI transition weekend at our MMM (monday morning meeting). The pain of leaving out of sudden hit me. I could vividly remember the same weekend last year this time when we were about the start hell of a journey as the new AIs. I still remember how everyone of AI 0405 had red eyes in our office on July 31st, 2005.
What makes leaving AI a particular sad thing?! Just my personal opinions though:
Our life is a LOT about living with each other. 20 expats in Rotterdam - all I can remember are working in the office, team days, soccer/volleyball together, heated discussions at team dinner, endless meetings in boardroom, traveling together, etc. I know we'll meet each other at different point of time yet it'll be different from this year.
Who understands us? This has nothing to do with arrogance. I am personally not sure if I'll find other friends who understand what I am talking, know what I am reading, share what I am thinking. I sometimes don't know if I should open myself up to talk about my interests or keep smiling and nodding. I guess most of us are scared of losing such a social circle.
How can I continue to make a difference? Some people said that we are anti-corporate. However, the truth is that most of us end up in GEPs. For sure we are apprehensive about any potential employers - that's probably why some people think that we are picky. Whatever it is, we are just more clear of what we want.
Ending our term seeing holes: AI members are naturally ambitious and with big ego - imagine a fast tracking success at such a young age. However, AI's direct influence on this organization is limited. We can only sigh at those helpless holes. It somehow shadows a bit the victory feeling after an intensive year.
However, the GOOD thing is that every year there are 20 extraordinary individuals get to 'taste' this incredible journey. You cannot choose not to love it. And you always do at the end of the day. For many reasons... ;-)
Thailand - twice in Bangkok
I was in Bangkok last year late October and this year early April. The 2nd time, I finally got to see a bit of Bangkok and partied a bit. I went to the Grand Palace which was MASSIVE. I don't have much clue about Buddhism (though I am reading about Zen buddism and practicing sitting meditation) and who spread it to Thailand, etc. The palace was very luxury yet peaceful to be. I can see how Thai people are influenced by Buddhism with the way they approach their life. Even how they protest against their prime minister! ;-) It wasn't violent but quite hilarious.
Clubs! I can imagine Bangkok has the best clubs when I was chairing the conference last year in Oct. Those kids were all 'dancing queens' doing 'dirty dancing'. I went to this fancy club for Christina (a Taiwanese girl working as VPER 0506 in Thailand)'s birthday. There were 3 boys and 1 girls singing a lot of clubbing songs like a mini concert. A huge cloud of celebrities were at our back. I came out of the club exhausted and half drunk, seeing a huge elephant in the middle of the street. Hehe...Is this a modern picture of Bangkok?
After visiting Kuala Lumpur 5 times in 5 months
I reckon I'll definitely regret it if I don't keep these memories now. I once again visited 8 countries in my 2nd round including a lot of back and forth to KL (Malaysia).
Netherlands - Malaysia - Philippines - Thailand - New Zealand - Hong Kong - Japan - Korea - Singapore
Malaysia
I have been to Malaysia for 5 times from Nov to May. I stayed with Anisha this time. I expected to learn a bit more about India by staying with an Indian family. Unfortunately, her parents work in another town during working days. However, I had a lot of deep conversations with Anisha - she is a really empathetic person. She introduced her guru to me (I don't know her name). Her mom got very excited when she knew that I want to learn yoga and meditation in India. ;-)
I finally got to see Huilin's boyfriend (8 years together - jealous!). As usual, Huilin took me to quite a few family gatherings. Her family came from south China (Canton province). So they speak Mandarin, Cantonese and English. I loved meeting her family because it is such a sweet picture of reunions. Also because they often go to good restaurants for yummy food - very typical Chinese! I have tried quite a few typical 'Malaysian' cousine: e.g. Rou Gu Cha - a souple cooked with meat and bones. (However, I googled it just now that it is claimed as a Singaporean special.)
I spent a fun weekend with Chopu and Pruthvi after XPRO before I went to Thailand. It was fun and relaxing especially after a hectic APXLDS. We did all sorts of things - amusement park inside Times Square, cocktail at Starhill, a lot of meals at foodcourts (my favourite!!!); cheap digital products shopping; Petronas towers; Aquaria within 2 days. I was actually glad when I sent them off to the airport - thank god, no more bumming around!
Malaysia remains one of my favorite AP countries for many reasons:
Multicultural: I loved seeing mosques everywhere downtown KL. I loved eating food from different part of Asia. I can see how this country is challenged with different ethnical groups living together. It is a very entrepreneurial country knowing what it can capitalize on.
Food: diverse and sooooooo yummy!
East islands: I haven't been there. I heard they are better than Lankawi - must be like heaven. ;-)
AIESEC in Malaysia: Apart from how fast they grow and what they are doing, I love to see alumni, trainees coming back for dinners and drinks very often.
I'll definitely go back again soon. I'll visit Huilin's family for some more eating! ;-)
Badly need a reintegration
I haven't blogged for a while (again!!!). Flic has no confidence in me when it comes down to blogging. Adam said that I am the most useless person to keep in touch with - because I don't stay in touch. Now the re-integration process needs to get in place.
Nick Smith has left China already. I was very shocked when I got the news. We spoke over skype once when I was in Seoul in early May. We were talking about traveling to Japan together once I go back to China. I have always imagined that as long as I go back to China, I'll be able to meet the group I always hang out together with. Other people move around the world as well - not just me. ;-( It feels like I have lost this friend forever.
I know Calvin is coming back to Shanghai for 3 months. And Shanghai is becoming more and more of a gathering place for famous @ers around the world. Rohit Sathe, Devrim, Carol (the previous InBev coordinator), Triin and the SIEMENS (ex) trainees gant, and some others just came to learn mandarin. (Btw, you should not study mandarin in Shanghai.)
I have designed a quite active routine once I go back to Shanghai. I need quite a bit of discipline to practice it though. I have been working withouth a fixed agenda for at least half of my term while I was doing country visits. Things I am very excited to do or to keep as a habit are: sitting meditation, Aikido, Taichi (with my parents, yah~), cooking and reading (all the books I bought but haven't read yet over this year).
I have never been strongly homesick so far (I have been living abroad for 13 months now). However, everytime I picture the moment I land in Shanghai, the moment I see my parents at the airport, I feel very emotional. Funny though life goes on very normally without such dramatic moment of meeting parents at the airport after more than 1 year of not seeing each other. However, I do think it is necessary. I cannot wait.
